I want to have your abortion
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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