so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
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Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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