If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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