R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so that wasnt chicken after all
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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