Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize