He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
