Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
