You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
