Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
