I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
