A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Are we in a gay sports bar?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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