Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
