What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I understand Curling. That high.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
