It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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