question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
