i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Drake has all the answers
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