I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
plz talk dirty to me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
