I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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