What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
