Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
