I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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