This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
