Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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