Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
