gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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