The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
