like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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