Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
