He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
