gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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