When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
