i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
