Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
