I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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