This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
