I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
