Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize