Define "chronic" masturbator.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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