oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
