I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize