Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
