Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
