she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
