we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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