No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
