Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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