Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
