I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
