the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
