chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
