somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
