He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
