I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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