I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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