walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
