i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
