i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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