My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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