pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Farmville is her only friend.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
