it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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