none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
