Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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