I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
