He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
