I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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