oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You took a bar mat shot.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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