if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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