I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
