Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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